Well, maybe it's time to start writing again. Or maybe I should end that with a question mark? Seems like it could be a good, cathartic thing to do, and why I would want to publish it for the world to see, I have no idea, but here goes.
I am safely and soundly back in the States, and have been for nine months now, almost to the day. Odd, in a way, as that's the same amount of time I spend in Deutschland.
In one perspective, I haven't put my time back home to good use at all. I did garden for Suzy's clients all last summer, which was dreamy and cathartic in its own right, and I've also had plenty of time to take sweet Aengus for our long daily walks - the most precious time of my days, still. I received snow shoes for Christmas this past year, and have enjoyed getting into that, especially because of our abundant snow. I loved the discount on books I received while working part-time at Barnes & Noble during the holidays, and have been reading a ton.
On the other hand, though, I've been hopelessly unproductive. On my good days, which far outnumber the bad, I recognize the hardship and trauma sustained by so many people around the world, which helps me keep my own imperfections well in perspective. I also give myself credit for my job search efforts, even though they haven't resulted in anything full-time/professional. Yet.
On my bad days, which, like I said, are relatively infrequent, I despair, and feel frustrated and glum, but never, ever like a victim. I made my own choices. My present is a result of actions I took in the past, and my future will be a result of my actions now, and to come. No one ever said it would be easy, and I was not raised to expect anything, or to feel that somehow the world owes me something.
Ha, I am tired. I just reread this post so far and realized that my "On the other hand" statement basically mirrors the "In one perspective" one. Maybe I'm not ready to start writing again after all... :)
A couple more Triscuits and cream cheese, possibly a little late night t.v., and then I'm off to bed.
Sweet dreams to you all,
Kate
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2 comments:
Yeah, you ought to start writing again. You are good at it and folks like to read what you have to say. You sound good, Kate. As always. Be patient, the right direction will come.
Mmmm...Triscuits and cream cheese. I just had some of the Triscuits you left at our house. Delicious!
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